Feed Me for a Fee


I network online with a classy group of web designing women of various levels of talent, expertise and knowhow. Some have tapped into their talents to create small businesses that are quite lucrative – from high-tech corporate programmers to simple home-based web designers. Lately, a few have offered their services for things a little less technical – closet organizers, house sitters, etc. Although these interests have little to do with the original chat room’s purpose and goal, we still welcome and support them because of their determination and resourcefulness.

binging-main_fullBut as smart and savvy as many of these women are, I am in stunned awe at some business ideas that have erupted from a few creative types. The latest one is a woman offering support-group type classes in….Successful Eating.  I’m not kidding. She is actually offering workshops on how to eat.

Now, it’s one thing to invest your money to visit a nutritionist once in awhile for specialized diets, weight control, etc., but the list of topics offered in these “special” workshops had me lifting my jaw up off my desk. It’s almost akin to the directions on the honey-colored motor oil my husband has in the garage with a reminder that says “Not fit for human consumption.”  Do we really have to be TOLD these things!?

For $295…yes, that’s right…for a mere $295, she’ll “tell” you about:

Getting more fruits and vegetables in your diet.  OK, is it really that difficult to shove a banana in your briefcase? Oh, shoot, doesn’t the orange fructose sweetener in that orange soda count?! Hey, I have a lime in my gin & tonic every night – citrus rocks – so I know I’m getting plenty ‘a Vitamin C.

fiberDetox and cleansing.  For God’s sakes, woman, eat a box of Fiberlicious Crackers and two cups of coffee and you’ll be dropping the kids off at the pool in no time! Don’t forget to spray.

fridgeattackFood addictions. If you feel yourself mesmerized by the 40-watt bulb in your refrigerator, just yank that sucker outta there. Of course, if you find yourself shoveling flour in your mouth while baking, then you just may have a problem.

Along with the workshops, she offers one-on-one consultation, including:

One 30-minute coaching session.  Does it really take 30 minutes to tell someone to stop being a wimp, step away from the death-by-chocolate cake, and realize it’s not what you’re eating, but what’s eating you!?

6 one-hour phone sessions. Well, hello, I could lose thirty pounds in a heartbeat because I’m spending time yakking on the phone with my mouth instead of shoveling food in it. That’s a no brainer…

4 easy recipes. Hmmm, wonder what those could be. Unwrap tofu, cut in squares, bake ‘n eat. I’m telling ya, if it’s an “easy” recipe, I know I won’t want to eat it.  How’s about something complicated like macaroni and cheese over chicken and dumplings!?

All kidding aside, I think I’m just jealous that she’s actually figured out how to make money off of people who have decided that food is their enemy.  I think I might start a series of workshops on “What to Do When the Double Cheeseburger at McDonalds is No Longer on the Dollar Menu.”  I’m stressing just thinking about it.

Let’s talk. I think I have two openings this week…initial

1 Comment

Filed under Random

One response to “Feed Me for a Fee

  1. this is awesome read.

    thanks for sharing


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