OK, first they steal our earrings, now they’re raiding our delicates drawer. The newest rage for men is “mantyhose.”
Ew. OK, so I understand men need just as much support, comfort and aesthetic purpose as us gals, but something about the idea of The Mister stuffing his hairy legs into a pair of industrial-strength pantyhose is about as sexy to me as a guy in a thong.
This “spanx” for men idea is just not right on so many levels. I personally sort of like the little case of DUNLOP’s Disease (the Belly Done Lopped over the Belt) my man has, and don’t really want him lifting and separating his beer belly from his nether regions. There’s only room for one of us in front of THAT mirror!
These man-girdles are supposedly emancipating men from centuries of gender hangups. Oh, God, what next? Are they going to start making boybras for their man-boobs? (You know who you are…) Just flaunt those babies, and be proud. Do you know how many bra-burnings we ladies have gone through to get where we are today!?
I’m envisioning receiving a “Victor’s Secret” catalog in the mail soon, complete with silk man-thongs, lace-trimmed tighty whities and fuscia colored mantyhose with secret fly openings. I’m so hiding that credit card from him.
Just the fact that you even worry about the way your ass looks in those jeans without your uplift skivvies is making me want to go and wash and iron your wife-beater shirt for you.
It’s called HO-siery for a reason…leave the driving to us.