Category Archives: Hobbies

An Early Valentine

Sweetheart,

I know it’s been awhile since we last had a heart-to-heart talk. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I figured it’s only befitting that I should remind you how much I’ve missed being us. Lately, though, I’ve been coming home from a hard day of work, and I’m not sure you appreciate the time I put in to keep our relationship on a steady course.

I oftentimes feel like I reach out to talk to you, but all I get is silence. It seems our relationship is a one-way street.  I pour my feelings out, and you just sit there. You just take, take, take. I don’t get a nod, an acknowledgement, or even the least bit of sympathy from you.  Your communication style is sorely lacking, your knack of tuning me out is exasperating, and I for one am not going to continue in this endless routine of avoidance and denial.

Perhaps it’s all too much for you.  In the beginning, I was always contributing and sharing my innermost feelings.  Was it too much?  Did I scare you away? It’s often been said that you always want what you can’t have.  Maybe I gave too much and didn’t leave enough to the imagination. You were probably attracted more to a lady of mystery and intrigue, someone who was a challenge.

All of our friends say they miss “us.”  There was a time that, together, we made people feel good, made them laugh, gave them insight into their own lives and provided a small but welcome distraction to their dull lives.

So now that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, maybe you and I could rekindle what we’ve lost. I promise to try harder if you will.

But if our relationship should ever come to an end, I’ll always remember you were the best blog I ever wrote in.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Blog.

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Gettin’ Sketchy Wid It

April 11, 2011

Snowmaggedon

 

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Twitter Dum Twitter Dee

twitter_of_the_shrew

Twitter, oh, Twitter. I debated even looking at it when it first became popular, spending way too much time on Facebook as it is.  But I’ve crossed over to the dark side, and I don’t think there’s a vaccine for this kind of addiction.

I am now Twitter’s bitch. Most of the people I follow are a cast of characters that would put a Nora Ephron casting call to shame. I know I’ve been on way too long, because I often have dreams about the fabulous sitcom one could create within this walk of shame, and the abundance of humorous one-liners and quips. I think there is quite an art to digesting life’s ups and downs into 140 characters. Trust me. It’s not easy.

I am pretty selective about who I follow.  If I don’t have coffee snorting out my nose, if I’m not peeing in my pants, or if I don’t find myself saying “OMG [in big capital letters], I’ve so been there,” then I probably won’t follow. I don’t follow celebrities…they’re whores already.  I like to give the rest of the common folk a chance. I follow new moms, authors, cartoonists, sparring couples, folks from different parts of the world, hot chicks, bad boys, soldiers, grumpy old men and lovely aging women.

Some people say it is an enormous time waster. If you are a multi-tasker, however, and know how to discipline yourself and know how to do things with one hand [insert giggle here], it can be done. [Training tip #1: You just must take caution, however, if you find yourself even saying words, like,  “with one hand,” you will get some people following you, uninvited, who are ready to do all kinds of things to you “with one hand.” That’s the ewwww factor you must learn to live with…then proceed to chopblock them.]

TwitterChurchThere is an unwritten rule amongst my Twitter family. We are there to hold each other up, touch each other inappropriately, question – and embrace – each other’s motives. Being devious is a delight. Menacing is encouraged, although no meanness is allowed. Having a flair for fun reaps its own rewards. It’s the one family you can actually depend on that will NOT make you feel unworthy, unloved, too short, too fat, too boring, or just that you are a downright pain in the ass. And if someone does, it’s as easy as pushing a button to get them removed from the family.  And if that doesn’t work, well, there’s always Uncle Nunzio. But I digress…

Everything and everyone is fair game on Twitter.  In-laws, boogers, sex, no sex, and other taboo subjects that will never end up on Facebook, less you be the wrath of your sons and daughters, nieces, nephews and their friends, and their friends, and their friends. Nobody on Twitter will ever roll their eyes, and say “O, mommmmmm.” [Training tip No. 2: We know you love your children, but do them a favor – just don’t.]

Many say, “Now, why would I want to hear about somebody having a cup of coffee or going to the bathroom?” It’s not the cup of coffee, it’s the capability to make yours blurt out your nose when you read their take on it.  It’s not about going to the bathroom, it’s about some of the more intimate details going on in that bathroom, both clean and dirty. Another ewww factor. Sweet.

So if you just don’t get Twitter, then you just don’t get it. And we appreciate that you resist the temptation to follow.  It’s not that you might lack a sense of humor…well, yeah, you probably do…but we’re really afraid you just might tell mom on  us.

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Silent Wood

My Scrapblog

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As Real as It Gets

Photoshop

The "real" designer's Photoshop...click to enlarge.

See it in the making…

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Eye of the Beholder

I think I’m in the wrong business. I’ve always had an appreciation for good art, even though I’ve learned through the years that art, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Although I have a degree in commercial art, and have dabbled here and there letting the creative genes I received from my parents flow from my pores, I am guilty of using a lot of excuses for putting my art on the back burner…raising children while working full time, needing to be in the “right mood,” watching Will & Grace reruns on the boob tube, etc.

And I’ve always been very hard on myself when it comes to my artwork…not sure what’s behind that. But I think I’m cured. It’s taken me a long time to realize it’s not what you put down on the paper/canvas/photograph, it’s what you do with it – or who you pay to do something with it – that counts.

Case in point: I fell across these little ditties by artist Robert Rauschenberg. While I commend his talent in expressionism, uh, I’m going to go out on a limb and say something that I hate….something that many people say when they look at a piece of abstract art.  “Oh, man, I could do that!”

But really.  I COULD do that! There’s a filthy broom I have that’s been leaning against the back of my house, and there are some old tires down by the garbage dump near those new houses going up in my neighborhood, and, well, I’m not sure what that other scene is – a piece of construction floating in the water? That might be a challenge…

Although he has since passed, God rest his soul, the man had the right idea! Only problem today is if I go wandering onto a construction site with my camera, I’m sure Homeland Security will be breathing down my neck strap.

But I’ll let the man speak for himself…old Bob had some pretty sweet quotations that just goes to show that we all set way too many limits on ourselves:

  • “I think a painting is more like the real world if it’s made out of the real world”
  • “You begin with the possibilities of the material”
  • “Screwing things up is a virtue.  Being correct is never the point.  Being right can stop all the momentum of a very interesting idea.”

Think I’m going to go dig those stinky potato peels out of the trash…they have possibilities…

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Drawing for Dummies

A few of my favorite things.

A few of my favorite things.

I received one of those “get-to-know-your-friends” surveys that provides your friends (or enemies) with a glance into your personality (PC or Mac, your favorite food, what’s on the bottom of your closet floor, etc. – you mean besides dust balls???) My favorite question was “Do you like the person who sent this to you?” Uh, do we have to be perfectly honest on these things? Who writes these things, anyway? But I digress….

I do remember one question which I gingerly approached, which was “What was your favorite toy as a child?” I enjoyed seeing the range of answers and tell-tale signs which were dead giveaways of how old some of the participants were by their answers. If they said, “My transformer,” or “My cabbage patch doll,” I knew I was in the wrong company. I wanted to answer truthfully, but I’d look like an ole’ blue hair. But I jumped in anyway, with “jacks.” I’m pretty sure neither of my children, now full grown, even know what jacks are. It involved throwing a ball in the air and trying to sweep up little metal objects (which small children today would not be allowed to play with – “Yer gonna poke your eye out with that thang!!”) before the ball lands back in your hand. In retrospect, it was good practice for parenthood – your wrists got a good workout for things like flipping burgers, flicking encrusted bugars and cheese off of the couch cushions, waving goodbye to your mother-in-law as she continued to complain about her diverticulitis all the way out the door…)

So I hit the send button, and for a moment, wished I had a magical retract button for e-mails…because I just then remembered that wasn’t my absolute favorite after all…it was really my Etch-A-Sketch! I cried the day I caught my little sister in the bathroom stabbing at the screen screaming “reek, reek!!!” with a huge pair of scissors because she wanted to see what was inside. I am right-brained and ended up an artist. She’s a lefty and crunches numbers and loves detail. Go figure.

But all is not lost! I just found a new cool time waster (even cooler than wasting my time on those surveys). It’s an online Etch-A-Sketch for adults. Not adult as in sketchy-people-sketching-stick-men-and-their- man-parts, but an actual sketch pad. It suits my creativity, satisfies my instant gratification needs and is only a keystroke away. It’s called Sketchswap. You just sketch something, send it, and receive a sketch back. Why? WHO CARES? (Even though I do tend to wonder, again, “Who thinks up these things???”)

Now, if I find my sister poking holes in my computer monitor, I’m going to rip up her latest Excel spreadsheet. 

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